Meet My New Pastor!

Praising God this Thanksgiving Week from Whom ALL Blessings Flow!
Ephesians 3:20-21
20   Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly
 abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that works in us,
21   to Him be glory in the church
by Christ Jesus to all generations
forever and ever. Amen.
My home church (Second Baptist Church) has a new pastor and he will begin his ministry on January 1, 2012. Our wonderful Pastor Search Team sought the heart of God for our church and we have supported them in prayer. This video below is how the team presented the pastor to our church. (It was created by a very talented young woman, Mrs. Brooke Hering. Thank you Brooke for sharing your work with me for my blog.)
God is blessing us exceedingly abundantly above all that we could have asked (and we did ask in much prayer). My new pastor’s name is Dr. Jim Perdue, his wife is Stephanie and they have four precious children, two sons and two daughters. Jim grew up at our church and he is coming home after being gone away to college, seminary, marrying and having a family, and pastoring. I am especially thankful to God for His mercy and love. His timing is His timing and it is always right and always for our good and His glory. 

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1,000 GIFTS, #386 to #408

Here I am again on this Monday, my heart brimming with multitudes of gifts – more grace gifts, lessons learned, memories made, and in just a week! Just the blessing of being HERE on this earth, at this time, in this generation, is a gift. The Word of God tells us our life is but a vapor in James 4:14

This is a picture of the vapor in the cool mornings around our pond this week.

I’m so thankful because:

386.  …I am very content in my life’s current season:
387.  …I am halfway through my 34th year of a solid marriage to a Godly man
388.  …both my parents are still healthy and well
389.  …my sons are happily married to wonderful young women
390.  …my grandchildren are healthy, delightful, and bring me JOY
391.  …my sisters Joan and Jo are there for me any time I need to talk
392.  …I have a wonderful circle of friends
393.  …my church family is Rock solid.  
394. I’m so blessed with my quilting time. It calms me to sit at my sewing machine and ponder and pray as I sew. I finished Madie’s quilt Saturday and it was fun to work with such “girly” fabric for a change from the boys’ tractor themed quilts. This was a simple pattern of squares and rectangles but I love the old-fashioned look. Madie is a beautiful child and I know she will continue to grace our family.
395. This is my quilting buddy and best friend of 23 years – what a treasure Lanie is. We’re old school and don’t mind sharing that. Faith and family are our joys. We enjoyed a recent “sew-in.” Today’s generation of women is missing something that women in times past did – getting together to quilt, sew, can food – train – mentor. We need that.
396. I love my job – I actually do have a “day job” besides being a pastor’s wife. I have worked for our local board of education for 23 years. The people in our offices are true public servants. Sharon is one of those folks, and she brought me some apples from the North Georgia mountains. She is “Gran Sharon” and when she became a grandmother 11 years ago, it was actually then I decided I would be “Gran Jan.”  And so I am.
397. Saturday was fun as the boys came very early to cut firewood. It’s been a long time since the back door opened and I saw my boys come in together. Raising them has been my life’s greatest JOY. I love their bantering – always have. I know they could quote Psalm 133:1 right now…
398. My husband loves to deer hunt. He was in the woods and when I got home I found these sweet “love notes” all around. Reference #387 – amen?
399. This is a cotton field – a HUGE one. Right now on farms all around us – cotton, pecans, and peanuts are being harvested. My paternal grandfather was a sharecropper and raised cotton and peanuts. I love to hear my dad talk about him because I never knew him. But I know I would have loved him dearly.
400.  What a joy my mom and I discovered as our camellia bush is finally blooming. We planted this one four years ago and the wait was well worth it. They bloom when nothing else is…what a great life lesson. I want to do the same!
401. My grandson Zeke spent the night and he was with me and my mom.  My grands call her “Gigi” (Great-Grandmother). She and Zeke were walking with pockets full of rocks to throw in the pond.  It’s their thing to do – and he never forgets.
402. We moved from our home of 20 years “in town” to the country life on the farm four years ago last week, October 27. I love this land already and the traditions we are making with our grandchildren. Another JOY of this season of life.

403. My dad has wanted a fence along the front of our farm for these 4 years, and it’s just something we haven’t been able to get done. Well, now we have. A fence on a list of grace gifts? Yes – because if you knew how happy it made my dad, you’d know just how thankful I am to do something for him for all the things he’s done for me my whole life. It was my husband’s idea. He is a generous man.
404. Our church’s senior adult ministry is called XYZ for “eXtra Years of Zest.” The XYZers went on a trip last week and my mom went with them. They had a blast. (Older ladies are still little girls wanting to have fun and from all accounts, they did.) I’m grateful for Pastor Mike Slade and his wife Susan who lead this ministry. These girls are the cream of the crop. Back row: Mrs. Lynn, Mrs. Sara, Mrs. Rita, Mrs. Gayle. Front row, Mrs. Lola, Mrs. Lois (my mom), and Mrs. Ann. My mom told me she got her picture taken with Dr. David Jeremiah and they also had former President George W. Bush as a speaker at the conference. Blessings indeed.

405. Yes my garden. Aside from time with my family – this is a happy happy place for me. I love to sit on that stone bench under that river birch tree..
406. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches shaped like hearts for a little boy who has stirred up so much love in my heart when I became Gran Jan the day he was born. I love you Zeke!
407. Me and my sweet husband with our youngest grandboy Jackson…more love stirred up in my heart. Thank you Erin for sending me this picture. It was good to have y’all with us on vacation this month.
408.  As I’ve learned from reading Ann Voskamp’s book and more importantly, God’s Word, there are times of hard eucharisteo.  We are to give thanks in all things, not just the pleasant and joyful and blessed times.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16. Rejoice always,
17. Pray without ceasing,
18. In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
This past year has been a time of deep reflection, in prayer, in learning, in trusting. Even surrounded by family and friends, the sweetest times have been those when the still small Voice of His Spirit spoke to the deepest places of my heart.  Abide – be still – I’m in control. Abiding in stillness is not easy in this day of go go go – but it is always where the times of growth occur. I want to be fruitful, don’t you?
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1,000 GIFTS, #370 to #385

My heart is so full this Monday I could hardly wait until lunchtime today so I could get to my favorite little free WiFi place…to ponder and began this post. I’ve been recording my grace blessings, gifts – both on paper and in my heart…since week before last. I dearly love how I will have a “moment” and realize “what a gift!” This has become so much more than a Monday blog post, it is a way of eucharistic living that has reached to the deep places of my heart and hopefully effected a change – evidence that others will see SEE and I may “give a reply for the hope within” as told in I Peter 3:15.
370. Celebrating the birthday of my son Jonathan, my youngest, a gift. His name even means “God’s gracious gift.” His gentle and quiet ways are refreshing. He is a strong man, a wonderful son, husband, father. I love him with all my heart.

371. Four Generations around the table last Monday as my Dad, me, Jonathan, and his son Jackson enjoyed supper together. What a blessing to have and especially as it was my Dad, (“Papaw” to my sons and grandchildren) who spoke that gift aloud.

372. The privilege to speak to a group of women last week at a local church, Oakland Baptist. They are beginning their women’s ministry and this was their very first event. It was a JOY to encourage them. I love women’s ministry. I shared with them from God’s Word and used the word WOMEN as an acrostic. W=Word of God, O=Outreach, M=Mentoring, E=Encouragement, N=Needed. (The N for needed was what Jesus spoke to Martha when he told her that Mary had “chosen that which is needed.”) Luke 10:42

373. Courtney, my new young friend. A new choir member – young, beautiful, smart (she’s an engineer). She loves to cook and it was JOY to share with her last week as we talked recipes and country living.

374. This past out-of-town weekend shared with my dearest friend of 24 years, Lanie. We celebrated her birthday – her LIFE. She is an ovarian cancer survivor of 2 years. We shopped, we went to a quilt expo, we laughed, visited a Country Living Fair, we ate, we laughed, we sewed for 10 hours straight on Saturday, we laughed, and we truly celebrated with much prayer and thanksgiving. God is so good!

375. This sweet gift from Shannon, a monogrammed pumpkin. Shannon is another young woman who radiates Jesus. Her smile is so beautiful as she smiles from the inside out. She and Natalie (another young woman I love) are in my Wednesday night Proverbs class, and we are “Getting Wisdom” in our Wising Up study by Beth Moore.

376. Yesterday my church and Deacons (represented by Mr. Lee Evans) honored our pastoral staff. It was a beautiful time – I was so blessed. October is clergy appreciation month. As a pastor’s wife of 34 years I would like to ask you to please encourage your pastor and his wife and family (not just in October, but any time). A card, a note, a gift certificate – and most of all – with prayer! In order below are our staff pastors, Jimmy Moneypenny, Gary Morton (my husband), Matthew Gibbs, Dawson Hull, Mike Slade, Ben Hunley, and Mike Dorough. They are wonderful Godly men with great integrity and hearts for ministry. All praise to Jesus Christ!

377. I am the proud owner of a new iPhone 4S. If you know me at all I promise I am not being worldly or materialistic – I am truly thankful because I love this phone and all it will “do.”

378. The sheer JOY to hug the necks of a young couple in our church who have been praying for a baby for over 8 years and are now expecting! May God bless this little one yet to be. I love you Bubba and Heather. I can’t wait to see your JOY grow in the months ahead…and that precious life inside your womb too!

379. My new favorite picture of my son and his two children. Look at the JOY that radiates in their eyes and smiles! They are sporting their “Got Biscuits” shirts I bought for them at the Paula Deen store in Savannah.

380. A wonderfully kind and encouraging email from Nancy Mattingly last week. Nancy is the correspondence manager for Living Proof Ministries and I tell you this – the woman loves Jesus and lives for His Glory. She blesses me. I love you Nancy.

381. Christmas gifts for my two Compassion children, Iduar in Colombia, and Gloria in Uganda. May God bless these two precious children.

382. The pure and simple JOY of hearing/seeing true worship yesterday as Jordan sang “I Will Rise” with our choir. He sang the solo. Jordan has some limitations in the world’s eyes, but to God, He is everything. I love that young man.

383. Another John Deere quilt – I finished this one at the QTT this past weekend – the “Quilting Time Together” with my friend Lanie.

384. The true JOY of seeing what some “meant for harm” being turned into what God is using for good. He loves His church, His bride, and He has surely poured out His love and grace on my church the past year. We stand amazed. He is a mighty big God and cannot be undone. I could shout – in fact, I have! 
 
385. As I sign off to head back to my office, I want to leave you with this sign I saw at the Country Living Fair….Yes, I was promoted to Grandmother and that is the very reason I began this blog…GRAN JAN’S JOY!

All truly is grace, and I am daily constrained.
Love,

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1,000 GIFTS, #288 to #304

Grace gifts, still counting along the way; very thankful and very blessed.
288. A blessed Women’s Ministry Conference this past weekend on 09-10-11 with the wonderful Mrs. Esther Burroughs. She is a precious mature Christian woman who shares from her life’s experiences and all who listen benefit. She taught from John 4 and encouraged us to “splash the Living Water” as we “Go OUT of our way while ON our way…” It was glorious!
289. This is a picture from the Conference with Mrs. Esther (she is in the black and white stripes). I call it “Generational Joy.” The two young women on the left are in their early 20’s and are DELIGHTFUL! Esther encouraged us to pour into their lives.
290. Helping Hands at the Women’s Conference…how blessed we are to have a church where people serve with JOY. Thank you Cindy, Sarah, Taneea, Teresa, Pam, Doris, Lisa, Kathy, Susan, Natalie, Lanie, Mindy, Lynn, Barbara, Rounette, Karen, Charlene, Patti, Jeanette, and Cheryl.
291. Sharing a recipe for Tomato Pie with my sweet friend Lanie.
292. Moonvines…this picture was taken just a few hours ago at dusk. I love these flowers. They will bloom all night and close up in the morning…
293. Another quilt class and girl’s night out with Lanie. We learned techniques for “half-square triangles,” but we learned much more than that…quality time in the car during a road trip helps you learn each other’s hearts and prayer needs…what a gift from God.
294. Driving through this allee of trees as I leave home each morning and returning each evening and celebrating His lovingkindness in the morning and His faithfulness at night.  (Psalm 92:1-2)  So grateful for my job and the people I work with and for. Grace.
295. Looking up from my desk at work just in time to see my oldest son and his son coming in the door to see me. Zeke gave me the sweetest hug ever. He said, “I’m your boy, Gran Jan.”  He knows that blesses my soul.
296. Another great practical message from Rev. Joel Southerland as he preached from the book of Job on the value of our families.
297. Finding a long-lost receipt. Thankful. Needed it.
298. Collards and turnip greens planted in my fall garden.
299. Attending a wedding with my husband this past Saturday of a young woman named Julie who we’ve known since she was 5 years old. Her groom was injured in an accident 14 months ago. Seeing her speak vows that she has already lived by standing true to him gives me such hope for young people and marriage.
300. Two big bags of fresh peas from a friend at church – thank you Mrs. Rhoda! I love to sit and shell peas – it is so soothing.
301. Jasmine. In my garden.
302. Long bike rides with my husband down country roads, cool weather. Good exercise. Weight loss success! So thankful. 
303. Spending time with my youngest son and his son tonight. Getting to play with little Jackson, feed him, bathe him, and tuck him in was so tender for me. My daughter-in-law is taking a class and was not home. I missed her, but love seeing the home she is building for my son and grandson.
304. New books and the anticipation of reading “The Resolution for Women.” The book is by Priscilla Shirer.  Excited about participating in her on-line book club this Friday.  Details will follow on my blog.
Nighty-night sweet friends,
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1,000 GIFTS, #231 to #245

Today has been a wonderful Multitude Monday. It started with a sweet time in the Word this morning…
231. I’m so very grateful and thankful for my quiet time place…
232.  I am on day 86 of a 90-day devotional by Beth Moore entitled “90 Days with Jesus the One & Only.”  I’ve lingered way longer than 90 days as I spent the 40 days of Lent reading  a devotional recommended by my friend Joanne Heim a couple of years ago. After I finish Beth’s devotional I am going to read through the book of Acts. I LOVE THE WORD OF GOD!
233. Last Tuesday our Women’s Ministry hosted a “Summer Sisters Salad Supper.” We enjoyed a sweet time of fellowship with salads of every kind and desserts galore. Over 200 women attended and my dear friend Lanie Nash shared her journey through ovarian cancer. Women’s ministry is hard work, but rewarding…I serve with the best team ever. I could NOT imagine this ministry without Cindy, Teresa, and Jennifer. They serve with hearts of gold.
 
234.  Speaking of women’s ministry, I received a precious email early this morning from Leah Adams of The Point Ministries.  She is a North Georgia gal and my cooking-canning buddy. Leah is coming to be the guest speaker for our Women’s Ministry’s 14th Annual Christmas Brunch, December 3, 2011, 10:00 a.m. to noon. Leah is a delight. She is a disciplined woman with a passion for the Word of God. She emailed to tell me that she is praying as we plan and prepare.  It blessed my soul!  Thank you Leah – I love you girl! 
235. This little buddy spent the night last Thursday with his Pop and Gran Jan…this smile is the result of a quick trip to the Dairy Queen for ice cream.  D-E-L-I-G-H-T!  (Zeke…not the ice cream!)
236.  Please don’t think me irreverent for taking this picture at such a time…but I wanted to capture the JOY of seeing all these men kneeling in prayer at the altar before evening worship last night. We were singing “Somebody’s Praying” as the men filled the altar in prayer.  Oh God, raise up men to lead our homes, our churches, our land…
237.  I love participating in the “SSMT” Siesta Scripture Memory Team.  Today is August 1st, the day we post our verses to the LPM Blog.   Here’s my post from this morning:

August 1, 2011 at 7:52 am
James 3:18 (NLT)
And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

238. Yesterday after church we went to the home of my youngest son and his wife to visit and take a nap as we had to be back at church early Sunday afternoon. We live out in the country and it just saves a trip home!  Besides that…we get to fellowship with our youngest grandboy Jackson.  D-E-L-I-G-H-T.

239.  This is the fabric for another new quilt!!! I had ordered some accompanying fabric and found out it was discontinued.  But just today a kind woman in Customer Service at Hancocks of Paducah, KY told me she personally went and found the exact yardage I needed for my quilt.  What a blessing. I thanked her…

240. The book I ordered came in the mail last week. It is a new book that I love for two reasons.  The topic – the Word of God…and the artist…one of my favorites. Karla Dornacher.  Her gifts bless me.

241. I’ve shared from my heart about the death of my sister Jean 26 years ago.  I wrote this post  last year on the 25th anniversary of her death.  It is the “most read” post on my blog. Just this past Saturday I got to spend time with my niece Amy, Jean’s beautiful daughter.  She lives in California, and is visiting home this week. Time with her is rare. There are no words to describe how much she is like her Momma.  Although Amy was only 23 months old when Jean died…she is JUST LIKE HER.  What a gift.

242.  Tonight’s supper included zucchini fresh from the garden. My sweet husband cooked and cleaned up the dishes. I love that man.  He takes such good care of me.
243.  My little granddaughter Madie is really talking a lot. She didn’t spend the night last week, but I’m looking forward to girl-time with her.  I didn’t have that as a “boy mom!” I want to teach her to make biscuits…
244.  And as I sit here listening to the beautiful piano music from Ann Voskamp’s blog I was thinking about the wonderfully gifted pianist at our church.  He is actually the Instrumental Worship Pastor. His name is Rev. Dawson Hull and he is a gifted musician.  Just yesterday I was blessed by his gifts.  As our interim pastor Joel Southerland was sharing during the invitation about “being a Friend of God,” Dawson played an impromptu gentle medley that included “What A Friend We Have in Jesus.”  His sweet wife Taneea is also a gifted musician. Their spirits are a blessing to our church family.  We are thankful for them.
It’s time to hit “publish post” and get ready for bed…and read…and continue to count these gifts to 1,000.  My heart is full tonight…another gift.
245.  A quiet heart…a contented heart.
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1,000 GIFTS, #189

My life has been blessed with many gifts this week. (One in particular is going to need a blog post all its own. I’m processing it slowly because it has happened that way…slowly over the past few months as God has been gently healing my heart and teaching me some truths by the power of His Word.)  But on this late night Multitude Monday, I want to dedicate this post to only ONE GIFT from the past week. It needs to stand alone. A GIFT SO WONDERFUL THAT IT WILL CHANGE A LIFE FOREVER.
My husband and I have taught a class at our church for many years now. It is a Bible study/Sunday School class for prospective church members, a covenant membership class called “Second Life.”  Many people come and go through the class.  But this past Sunday was absolutely wonderful…

#189.  Yesterday morning a young girl about 20 years old arrived early before anyone else. I was talking to some friends and as they were leaving, she asked us, “is this where the class meets for people interested in this church?”  We welcomed her and told her she was in exactly the right place and then I had her sign in and gave her the book we use for the four-week class.

A few minutes later my husband came in and we started chatting with Caitlyn. She had been coming to church as a guest of another young woman for about 2 months, and was playing church softball.  As Gary began teaching the content of “Week 1” which includes  doctrinal teaching and the truths of salvation, I noticed how Caitlyn was listening so intently. She then began talking and told us about the girls on the softball team sharing their “stories and their moments,” (testimonies) and then she simply said the most beautiful thing…
That’s what I want, I want my own moment
with Jesus, I want a story too.”
That statement opened the door and became the most natural and wonderful opportunity to share with this young woman the timeless truths of God’s plan of salvation.  It was obvious that someone has been planting and watering the seeds and that Gary and I were just blessed to be there for the ripe harvest. We shared from God’s Word with her – we talked about salvation and God’s plan. We talked about sin and separation from God.  She understood – she was ready to get it settled down and taken care of right then.  So she prayed and asked Christ to be her Lord & Savior. 
My gift of seeing Caitlyn receive THE GREATEST GRACE GIFT of all was so wonderful, so marvelous.  To be there with my husband as he ministered the Word to her was a blessing to my heart. I’m so thankful to serve a church where God’s Word is taught and believers are strengthened and trained and non believers learn the basic truths of the Bible as they seek a church to call home.

I know that her friends had been praying for her for a long time and using the avenue of church softball to reach her. It was absolutely God-ordained for us to be in the right place at just the right time to put into practice I Peter 3:15 – always be ready with an answer! 
I Corinthians 3:7
So then neither the one who plants nor
the one who waters is anything,
 but God who causes the growth.

Thank you for taking the time to read this…my blessing to witness this young woman receive the gift of eternal life…I count it ALL GRACE!

In His Name,
Mrs. Jan 
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1,000 GIFTS, #153 to #170

As I come to yet another Multitude Monday, my heart is overflowing with His goodness as I continue to count blessings, grace gifts. Including pictures makes this more than a simple list, but I pray you’ll indulge me.  As you know, “a picture is worth a thousand words…”  I’m working to one thousand gifts…so one thousand words in pictures sounds joyful too.
153.  My dearest friend is named Lanie. We were talking in the car on the way to our quilt class last week and she quoted a line from her Mother’s Day card from her husband…it sounded familiar. Can you say like-minded friends and husbands? Our husbands gave us the exact same Mother’s Day Cards! What a gift to have life-long friends.

154.  Lunch at Longhorns with a like-minded same-season-sister, Patsy. We have so much in common. She raised 3 sons, I raised two. One of her boys is married, both of mine are. We love the Word, we love our church, we love each other. It was such a sweet time and it was her treat…making it all the sweeter!

155.  A wonderful meeting in my home with my church’s Women’s Ministry Leadership Team. We accomplished so much, and enjoyed some delicious chicken salad too. I made a homemade peach cobbler.  Here is my recipe! Complete with pictures. 🙂

156.  Zeke spent the night with me Friday and we had so much fun.  He is getting older and it is getting funner (great word).  We picked blueberries and worked in the garden.

157.  And of course blueberries on Saturday morning call for blueberry waffles:
158.  I just love this picture and had to share these sweet little hands with 4 blueberries.
159.  The Instrumental worship pastor from my church, Rev. Dawson Hull attended a conference and my friend, Rev. Travis Cottrell was there leading in some of the sessions. I got this picture on my cell phone with a “Travis says hi” message and it made my day! 
160.  This is a “Blushing Bride Hydrangea” from the Endless Summer Collection.  I planted it the spring my youngest son Jonathan married his blushing bride, Erin on 06-07-08!  It blooms a pale white/pink, then turns into a very pale blue.  I love it!
161.  This is the son of Jonathan & Erin, sweet baby Jackson. He knows so many words and understands just about everything they ask him to do…he will toddle off and do whatever it is they say or do…here he is “loving Curious George.”  Sweet!  He has a first birthday coming up one week from tomorrow.
162. This past Friday my friend and co-worker Sharon and I attended the funeral for the brother of our mutual friend and co-worker, Brenda. It was one of the most inspirational funerals I have ever attended. Three preachers and a quartet!  It was a celebration homegoing and the quartet sang a song called “If You Knew Him,” by The Perry’s that is absolutely wonderful!
163. The drive to the funeral was all backroads country and it was good for the soul.  We came upon this old covered bridge.  It is in Upson County, GA and is called Auchumpkee Creek Bridge and of course is tied to the time when the Creek Indians lived in this part of Georgia. I could have stayed there all day.  Had a great time tweeting about it with my siestas!
164.  This is the first daylily of 2011 from my garden.  Daylilies are my favorite perennial. 
165.  All the songs we sang yesterday in our morning worship were about God’s holiness. “Holy Holy Holy,” then a beautiful duet by Julie and Megan entitled “No Word But Holy,” and then “Lord, You’re Holy.”  The Spirit was strong and the LORD added to His church. 
166.  Big families! Our church hosts a monthly “visitors luncheon” where new and prospective members meet and have lunch with the pastors and their families. Three of the families there yesterday had lots of children! I mean lots!  Two of them had 5 children each, and the other had six children! Hope for the future of Christian families.
167.  Our church nominated a great group of folks last night to serve as our Pastor Search Team. As God calls them to your memory, will you just pray for His will to be done?  We are searching for a Senior Pastor to come shepherd us, love us, and lead us.  Exciting times ahead for our family of faith!
168.  This is sweet baby Madie Ruth, my granddaughter, in as her momma calls it, “her girliest outfit yet.”  There’s more to come baby girl and we can’t wait!
169.  Lastly…as I sign off tonight, I just want to say it is going to be 49 degrees tonight and I am loving this gift of cooler weather.
170.  One more lastly, I planted green beans, squash and cucumbers in my garden this past weekend.  I harvested red potatoes and onions to make room for the above veggies. The tomatoes have been planted for about 3 weeks and are growing so well with the help of my farmhand, Zeke.  He was watering them for Gran Jan!
It’s been a very good week and I thank you for sharing this journey of counting His gifts with me.  Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be…

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